A couple of weeks ago, I was feeling quite anxious about something very specific that I was going to have to do. I told someone about this and they basically told me to get a grip because this certain person has had to do some things of a similar nature but on a slightly larger scale before (two specific things were mentioned) and they didn’t complain about having to do them. I don’t think anyone can even begin to understand how much this annoyed me. The main reason it annoyed me so much is because I’m not that person. We’ve not experienced the same things, we have completely different comfort zones, different confidence levels in situations like that and this person has inevitably experienced more things like this before because they are almost double my age (we tend to gain comfort and confidence doing something the more we do it). Just because someone isn’t phased by doing something big doesn’t mean another person will be totally fine with doing something smaller of a similar nature – everyone is different! To me the ‘little’ thing was a big deal and to them that ‘big’ thing was like tying your shoelace, so the ‘size’ of the matter doesn’t come in to it whatsoever.
Don’t ever let anyone dismiss you or make you feel worthless. Don’t let anyone make your feelings or your experiences seem invalid by comparison to their own or someone else’s feelings or experiences. Don’t ever feel like you can’t share your feelings or experiences out of fear of being made to feel insignificant or having your feelings invalidated because someone else’s feelings and experiences are made to seem more valid than yours. Even if someone is going through something ‘worse,’ your feelings are your feelings, and they most definitely are worthy, important and valid. No matter how big or small your experience is, it is valid and it is worthy. It doesn’t matter how big something is, it has the exact same significance as the little thing. Now, I’ve got a reputation for being a bitch and I’ll admit that I am one sometimes but I’d never dismiss someone or invalidate their feelings. The person is opening up to you, trusting you, confiding in you, and you dismiss them. Why? I’ll never understand it.
I’m not mad at the person who said these things to me. Yes, I’m annoyed about what they said, but I just hope they might be reading this and they never say something like that to anyone else ever again. The next person might not be as strong and they might not be able to realise that they aren’t the idiot but that the person saying this to them is. It might really affect them and make them feel like what they are feeling is silly and invalid. If you have been made to feel like that and you’re reading this, please know that your thoughts, feelings and experiences are your own and they are completely valid, important and not silly at all. Don’t let others compare you to others and definitely don’t start comparing yourself. You are you, you have your own experiences and emotions and don’t ever let anyone make you think otherwise. All of your feelings, emotions, experiences etc. are important. You are important. Remember that. If someone doesn’t see that, they aren’t important so get rid of them. Surround yourself by people who are going to support you through the so called ‘little’ things and of course the ‘big’ things too.