10 Things I’ve Learnt

I’ve had quite a long break from blogging, which has probably gone unnoticed, but in that period of time, I’ve learnt a lot. I’ve learnt things about myself and just life in general and I thought I’d share 10 of these things with you today. There are a lot more things so if you want me to do this again, let me know.

1. Karma is a bitch – you’ve probably heard this one a million times because everyone says it, but there’s a reason for that, it’s so true. When you do something you shouldn’t have done, or you cross someone, it will come back around and it will be twice as bad. So please, take it from me, don’t be a snake and be a bitch. You really do reap what you sew.
2. I’m too comfortable – I’m not pushed outside of my comfort zone enough. When I am, I can be quite insecure and vulnerable, contrary to my usual confident self. Sometimes you need to be pushed out of your comfort zone as it’s not good to get too comfortable. And obviously it’s normal to feel a bit vulnerable when you aren’t comfortable, but it’s best to put yourself out there a little bit more often.
3. You aren’t competing with anyone else – the only person you have to be better than is the person that you were yesterday. It means absolutely nothing to be better than your friend, someone who is on a different path than you. We’re all on totally different paths, on different journeys, and where you are on your path in comparison to someone on another path its totally irrelevant. The only thing that matters is bettering yourself. And, there is room in this world for all of us to succeed.
4. Being yourself is worth the judgement and inconclusions – it’s better to be who you are and be true to yourself than pretend to someone that your not. I’m not saying it’s easy to be yourself all the time, it’s deffiently not the easier option, but people are going to judge and have there opinions not matter what.  Hearing people say awful things about you and talk about you behind your back isn’t nice at all but those people don’t matter. The people who do matter are the ones that accept you for who you are.
5. If you want to succeed, you need to fight – if you really want something, you’re going to have to put in work for it. You can’t fail at something and just give up, you can’t let little things knock your confidence, you can’t expect or accept failure; you have to push yourself, hard. One hurdle can’t stop you from achieving what you want in life. There are lots of hurdles in the way and you just have to get over them.
6. You are better than you think you are – having confidence in yourself is the key. Spending time worrying with your mind fixated on the worst possible outcome is time wasted. I personally put myself down a lot and tell myself I’m not as good as I really am. You and I are capable or doing whatever we put our minds to and you just need to have faith that you are. You’ll be surprised.
7. Dwelling on bad situations gets nobody anywhere – bad things happen, that’s life. They will have negative effects, that’s inevitable. But really, you need to put it into perspective and think about how much worse it could be and think about how many people are in a worse situation than you, because I can guarantee, there is always someone. You should keep dwelling on the situation because you’ll get caught up in it and see only the bad, when in fact there is always a positive in every situation. Sometimes you just have to look a bit harder for it.
8. You’re never going to understand some people and they’re never going to understand you – there are people that you’ll meet in live that you really don’t get along with and that you really don’t see eye to eye with. It’s okay to have different views than some people, no one is asking you to be best friends with everyone. Avoid dealing with people you don’t get along with if you can, but if you can’t you just have to be civil and mature.
9. Just because other people like someone, doesn’t mean you have to – I personally tend to have very good intuitions about people and 99% of the time, I’m right. It’s just something that I’m naturally good at and other people don’t seem to be. Even if your best friends are friends with someone, doesn’t mean you have to be. You don’t even have to be that nice to them if they aren’t nice to you either. I’ve been called a hoe by a friend of a friends… I can’t tell you how many times a friend has come to me telling me what so and so has done to them, and I knew all along that they would.
10. Life is too short to take it too seriously – you don’t know how much time you have left but there is deffiently no time to waste not enjoying your. Spend as much time as you possibly can with the people you love and as little time as you possibly can with the people you really don’t. You don’t have time to sit with your mouth shut, pretending to be someone that you’re not. Live day by day and don’t take things too seriously. You’re happiness should be your number one priority.

I’m Back – My New Schedule

I took a very long break, which I’m sure went unnoticed, but I want to get back into blogging again because I’ve missed it and I loved doing it. I’ve been so busy these past few months that I just had no time but now that I’m not as busy and know that I have the time to do this, I want to get back to doing it consistently.

I’m going to be posting every Sunday at 6PM BST.

My posts are going to be on different topics related to beauty and lifestyle. There will be the occasional rant too so don’t mind them. If you have any posts you’d like to see from me, please let me know and if you want to see these posts, give me a follow.

You Are Strong, Kind-Hearted & Beautiful – Bullying & Why People Do It

My thoughts are all over the place right now and I really should be studying for exams this week, but I just keep thinking about this and I want to just write it all out. I feel like it could help someone and it might be just what someone needs. This is going to be all over the place without any structure; I hope you don’t mind!

The help and support page on the anti-bullying alliance website has links to loads of helplines where you can anonymously discuss bullying, websites where you can find help and support and places where you can report cyberbullying. There is so much more on their website that you may find helpful.

I just want you to know that the people who tell you that you can’t achieve what you want to achieve, that you can’t do what you want to do, that you can’t be who you are; the people who bully you and make you question your self worth, that bring you down every single day, they’re all just jealous of you. They all want to have as much ambition, self-belief and confidence as you do. They want to be kind-hearted and beautiful inside and out just like you are.

You have to know that you’re doing nothing wrong, you’re doing everything right. These people that are being nasty to you, they loath themselves, these people need someone to bring down and because you are being 100% you and they wish they could do that too, they chose to bring you down.

Having bad things going on in your life is no excuse to treat someone else badly and make them fell bad about themselves. Even people with the most awful things going on still manage to be good people and spread that little bit of positivity that they have left.

You should not be nice to these people and accept the awful things they might be doing because they do not deserve it, but you should not hate them and you should try not to be nasty back. They hate themselves more than you could probably imagine and having another person hating them is going to prevent them from being the good person they could become and it’s just going to bring more self-hate to them. Just ignoring them and getting on with being you is going to make them realise that they will get no where hating on you because nothing they say or do to you can drag you down.

For someone to hate you and not want to see you succeed, you must be such a kind person with a kind and beautiful heart and you should be proud that people envy you. Those people are only thinking about you because they can’t bare to think about themselves. If they stopped thinking about you, they’d have to think about themselves and it would be hell constantly thinking about yourself if you hated you. They block themselves out of their mind and bring you into it because they actually don’t hate you; they want to be you, they want to be as amazing as you are.

You have to prove your haters wrong, you have to keep showing that you are a better person than all of them. And in 20 years when you just so happen to think of them in between all of the great things you’re doing in your life, you’ll realise that they are long gone and they are not doing amazing things with their life like you are because you were the better person and they wasted all of their time and energy trying to prevent you from achieving your dreams too.

But all of their hate and disbelief in you has built you into a stronger, kinder-hearted and more beautiful person and has been the thing that has enabled you to achieve all that you want to achieve. If you are being bullied, know that it doesn’t last forever, know that these people hate themselves and they need someone else to hate, or actually envy and try to prevent from succeeding as it’s inevitable that you will.

No matter what these people might be going through at home or in their personal lives, it’s no excuse to treat you badly. There does sometimes come a point where you can’t ignore it and you have to speak up and tell someone what’s happening, and that doesn’t make you weak, it doesn’t mean you’ve failed.

You can also take a positive from the situation and use their negative words to make yourself stronger. You are strong, you are kind and you are beautiful. People will inevitably tell you otherwise, but please, never ever believe them.

If you want to or need to, please tell a trusted parent, sibling, family member, friend, teacher or guidance counsellor who can either help you to sort things out or just support you. It’s always good to make someone aware of what’s going on.

I’d also be really happy to talk to and give advice to anyone who’d like it. You can leave a comment on this post or you can privately contact me by clicking here, and I’ll do my best to get back to you as soon as I possibly can.

Girl Talk: Get To Know Me Q&A

Today is new years eve and the last day of 2017. This year has gone so fast and a lot has happened. I feel like I’ve changed a lot over the past year, mostly for the better, and just matured quite a bit. Overall it’s been a really good year and I’m excited for 2018. Happy new year to all of you and I really hope that 2018 brings you all the best. Thank you for supporting me throughout 2017 and I hope you continue to do so next year.

I’m starting a series called ‘Girl Talk.’ A lot of people do this and I’ve been inspired by others to do this. Even though so many others do it, I feel like everyone has different advice as we’ve all experienced different things and we all talk about different things. If you have a topic/question you’d like me to talk about/answer in my next girl talk, please let me know! I thought I’d start it off by doing a Q&A so you can all get to know me a bit better. I found these questions online and they’re from the ’25 New Get To Know Me Tag.’

Also, if you want me to start doing story times, please let me know as I have a few that might be quite funny to share and then a few not so funny, but you might still enjoy reading for various reasons. Give me suggestions too and have an amazing new year however you spend it!

1. Are you named after anyone?
   No, I’m not. My mum just always liked my name and it was the only one my dad agreed to call me.
2. When was the last time you cried?
   I’m a very emotional person and when I feel any emotion very strongly, good or bad, I cry. So I cry quite a lot because I think it’s healthy to get your emotions out. I also cry when I laugh a lot. But I think the last time I cried was yesterday when I was walking to the train station because I have shin splints because the day before I decided to run on concrete for 20 minutes in heeled boots.
3. Do you have kids?
   No! I’m only a teenager, I’m in high school. I don’t want to have kids until I’m about 30.
4. If you were another person, would you be a friend of yourself?
   I’ve actually thought about this before and I’m really not sure. I’d like to think I would be. I think I’d either be best friends with myself, or be my worst enemy.
5. Do you use sarcasm a lot?
   I’m a naturally very sarcastic person. My sister says me and my brother are the most sarcastic people she’s ever met. I think me and my family generally are quite sarcastic and sometimes I have a sarcastic sense of humour.
6. What’s the first thing you notice about people?
   I actually don’t know what the first thing I notice is but I tend to quickly observe peoples hair colour, height and accent.
7. What is your eye colour?
   My eyes are light blue.
8. Scary movie or happy endings?
   I’m not the biggest fan of either. I’m not that into movies to be honest. I’d much rather spend my time doing something else.
9. Favourite smells?
   This is so typical but I love autumnal/winter scents like cinnamon.
10. What’s the furthest you’ve ever been from home?
    Around 3,700 miles or 6,000 kilometres. So not that far really.
11. Do you have any special talents?
    The short answer is no. I’m not talented at all which I kind of wish I was. It would nice to be better than other people at something.
12. Where were you born?
    One of the most beautiful cities in the world. It does come somewhere on this list if you’re really that interested.
13. What are your hobbies?
    I don’t really have any of the typical hobbies like dancing or gymnastics – I’m pretty awful at them to be honest. So I guess this is. I do really enjoy writing posts and I think I’m going to love doing this girl talk series.
14. Do you have any pets?
    Yes I have a black and white cat. She’s the most adorable little thing ever!
15. Do you have any siblings?
    Yes. I have an older brother and an older sister, so I’m the youngest.
16. What do you want to be when you grow up?
    I have absolutely no idea. I’m young and I have plenty of time to figure it out. If you have no idea what you want to do either, no matter what age you are, it’s totally okay, you have all the time in the world to figure it out and you will eventually.
17. Who was your first best friend?
    Well, I’m not going to share her name, but we’ve been friends for ever and I’m still really good friends with her to this day. We don’t get to see each other a lot as we live in different cities now but we talk a lot and now that we’re old enough to travel to other cities alone, I think we’ll start seeing each other more. I think we’ve managed to stay friends for so long because we share similar interests and our personalities match quite well.
18. How tall are you?
    I’m 5’7″ or 171cm, so I’m fairly tall but I love it.
19. Funniest moment throughout school?
    Honestly, I have so many. And I’m still in school and funny things happen all the time. I’ll probably think of some hilarious things and do story times on them so look out for them. I feel like things me and my friends do that we think are funny, no one else will. But I will get back to you for that question.
20. How many countries have you visited?
    I’ve visited 6 countries and I’ll be visiting a new country next year which I’m so excited about.
21. What was your favourite/worst subject in High School?
    I’m in high school right now and my favourite subjects are biology and geography and my least favourites were/are PE, modern studies, art and home economics (I’ve dropped all of them apart from PE).
22. What is your favourite drink? Animal? Perfume?
    I drink water all the time but if we’re talking alcoholic drinks, my favourite is just straight vodka. My favourite animal is a cat and my favorite perfume is Chanel No5.
23. What would you (or have you) name your children?
    I have a few names even though I don’t want children until I’m 30. One of my favourite names for a girl is Emilia and one of my favourites for a boy is Daniel.
24. What sports do you play/have you played?
    I’m awful at sports so I don’t play any and I haven’t ever played any. Unless you count skiing as a sport. I used to do that and I was quite good at it.
25. Who are some of your favourite YouTubers?
    I could do a whole post on this if any of you would like me to but a few that I love just off the top of my head are Imogenation (Imogen Hudson), Simplynessa15 (Vanessa Martinez) and Hannah Witton.
26. How many girlfriends/boyfriends have you had?
    I’ve had a boyfriend but I don’t know if I’d even class it as a proper relationship. We were together for about three months but I think I’ll do a whole story time on our relationship because some ridiculous things happened and I did some pretty stupid things.
27. Favourite memory from childhood?
    I hate questions like this because I can’t just pick one memory! Not one specific thing comes to mind.
28. How would you describe your fashion sense?
    Black.
29. What phone do you have? (iOS v Android?)
    I have an android. I just don’t care what phone I have, it’s just a phone.
30. Tell us one of your bad habits!
    I’m getting into a habit of swearing, I always forget peoples names, talking in class, losing focus, twisting my hair round my fingers… I seem to have a lot!

Happy new year guys!

My Deepest Fear

A few weeks ago I wrote a post about my biggest fear, and in that I mentioned that I had an even deeper fear that I had never spoken about before because it’s so terrifying to me and maybe more rational and real than my fear of fire which I spoke about in my other post. This fear has developed over the past couple of years and it has gradually worsened. Unlike my fear of fire, I have no idea where this has stemmed from, I think it’s the kind of fear that a lot of people have naturally but to a lesser degree than mine – I’d like to know your thoughts.

So, my deepest fear is death. Not me dying though (although I am becoming gradually more scared of that), my family and friends dying, and the fear is most intense in terms of my parents and siblings dying. It’s not even just death though, it’s them becoming ill or injured in some way. I guess just them not being in a good state of health.

My problem is that I always think the worst. If my dad goes for a shower and he takes ages, my mind will go straight to him dying in the shower rather than a more rational explanation. If my brother hasn’t been home in a few days with no contact (which is a common thing), I think he’s dead. If my mum has gone to the shops and taken longer than I expected, I think she’s been in some kind of accident rather than a more rational explanation like that she’s gone to visit a friend (again, quite a common thing). In my head, I’m convinced that I’ll hear the doorbell in a second and the police will be there to tell me what’s happened.

And when things do happen, which they do, because that’s life and I have to find a way to accept and cope with it, I totally freak out. And I don’t react to bad situations very well in an emotional sense. I get really angry, show no sadness, just extreme anger. After I’ve coped with the anger, then I get upset.

My mum works a job slightly more risky and unpredictable than a normal job (yet not as dangerous as some, she’s done worse in the past) and has done for around three years now. She herself hasn’t been badly injured at all, the worst think that’s happened to her is a broken finger, but her colleagues have sustained slightly more serious injuries. As I said though, it’s unpredictable, anything could happen, and it’s always been a little bit worrying for me, especially when it’s ‘a bad time’ – if she’s saying it is, then it is.

Last year there was a situation which I’m not going to go into any detail about at all but it was quite bad. The person going through it really downplayed it and was very calm about it but my mum freaked out about it and it really took a toll on her and I could really see how upset she was about it. I would have usually been really worried about a situation like that but I wasn’t at all – I was very calm about it all. It did sometimes play on my mind a bit but I didn’t think the worst at all, I just kept telling myself it was fine. I think this was due to both the fact that the person going through it was so calm about it and also the fact that my mum was freaked out and worried. She never is, or never shows it at least, so I was just keeping it together for her so she wouldn’t be so worried and to maybe make her think it was going to be fine – it isn’t nice seeing your mum like that. Looking back, I’m surprised at how well I handled the situation actuallyAs I think I mentioned, I never used to have this fear. This is probably due to the fact that as a young teenager, you’re more naïve and have an underdeveloped awareness (I think) to how bad things are. But the thing is, I never even worried about things at all and I always saw things from the best perspective. And now, I always fear the worst.

I think a certain amount of fear is healthy because at the end of the day, bad things do happen and if you’re aware that they could happen then it won’t hit so hard. But a lot of fear isn’t healthy because stressing and worrying is so bad for you and it doesn’t change the end result at all.

This post might have been a bit ranty, pointless and a bit all over the place (so thanks for reading it!) but it was more for me to actually get this out because as I mentioned, I’ve never actually voiced any of this (and still technically haven’t but I’ve written it). I always think it helps to get things out in any kind of situation because bottling things up isn’t helping you at all. If you have something you need to get out, tell someone you trust, write it down, tell me by privately contacting me (you can trust me), just get it out and you’ll feel better. If there is anything you’d like me to talk about and I mean anything, let me know and I will!

My Biggest Fear

Today I’m going to be talking about my biggest fear. This is a fear that I’m open about and will happily talk about with people as it’s not that deep or personal, it’s just something I’m really scared of. I have another fear that is quite deep and a lot more personal which I don’t think I’ve ever spoken about to anyone – maybe I’ll write a post on that in a few weeks. Anyway, I have quite a big fear of fire, specifically my house burning down and being burnt alive. I’m going to talk about where I think this fear might have stemmed from and how it affects me in my everyday life.

So, when I was younger, I went to my grandma’s house twice a week after school and she always watched those awful American movies on channel 5. A lot of them were very unsuitable for a child to be watching and some of them gave me nightmares. There was a particular movie that really scared me where a woman got trapped in a room and got burnt alive. In late 2010 she let me watch the Coronation Street tram crash. A couple of months later in early 2011 she let me watch the episode of Neighbours where a house went on fire because of Steph’s faulty Christmas lights. Watching these disturbing and very real looking things scared me a lot and I believe it’s where my fear has stemmed from.

I need to make sure that all electrical appliances are off and unplugged before I go to sleep at night and before I leave the house. If I think I might have left my laptop on charge or something, I get so paranoid – I’m not joking when I say I’d have to come home from school to check because it would take over my mind. No one I my house is allowed to charge their phones overnight – everything has to be off. No one is allowed to leave charging appliances unattended if they are on carpet or fabric (my brother does this regardless and I can’t deal with it). Before I leave the house in the morning I have to make sure the switches under my desk are off and I often check multiple times. We also have an electrical heater on the ground floor because it gets so cold down there but it gets so hot and could deffiently start a fire. I hate it when my mum dries stuff on it because sometimes she forgets about it and I can literally smell the heat from my bedroom two floors up.

In Chemistry at school we do a lot of experiments, a lot of them involving fire. I hate doing experiments for this reason and usually will just refuse to do them which gets me in a lot of trouble and I’ve ended up in trouble with senior management. I just hate being near fire and looking at it. Even though I know that it’s safe and controlled in school, it just scares me.

Back in January, the light in my bedroom broke and started sparking behind the light switch. I was convinced my bedroom was going to go on fire and I was hyperventilating and then started hysterically crying. I wouldn’t go back in my room and my mum had do go in and get all of my things so I could sleep in my brother’s room (my brother wasn’t there) on the ground floor next to a door. My bedroom is on the second floor (or third floor if you’re American), the top floor and if there was a fire it would be hard for me to escape, I most likely wouldn’t be able to. That thought scares me.

The last house that I lived in had been fully burnt down long before I lived there and obviously when I lived there, it had been fully restored. However, there were images online (the house is quite famous) of it fully burnt down to the foundations. You can see where all of the windows on the bottom two floors were though and I could see exactly where my bedroom was and even though it happened before I lived there, it just freaked me out.

Weirdly, my sister is also scared of fire, just to a lesser degree. Unlike me, she is scared of her starting the fire as she’s really careless. She always leaves her straighteners on and there are burn marks all over her carpet. Only a few days ago she left them on, on her bed. It obviously doesn’t help knowing she does stuff like that.

I’m quite scared of burning myself and I’m not sure if this is related to my fear of fire or not. I avoid taking things out of the oven all together as I’m just so scared of it. I think the last time I burnt myself was in home economics a few years ago when I took a cake out of the oven without oven gloves on – what an idiot. I think it’s needless to say that I dropped home economics as soon as I could. As I mentioned, I am scared of burning alive, it totally freaks me out. In recent years I read a book where a girl burnt alive and it created such a real image in my mind and I obviously now avoid reading things like that.

Sorry if this post was a bit all over the place, I just wanted to share this with you all. Let me know if you want me to write about my deepest fear. It will be harder to write about but I think it would be good for me to do so.

Things Introverts Will Understand

As I’ve mentioned before, I am most definitely an introvert. About 85% of the time I’d rather be enjoying my own company and socialising with people who I’m not that close with is a chore. I used to think it was weird that half the time I’d rather sit in silence when I’m around others but now I’ve accepted it as a part of who I am. And I’ve come to realise, it’s a part of a lot of others too. Even though at times it may be easier to enjoy socialising, I really love being an introvert and I wouldn’t change it for the world and I know the majority of other introverts feel the same way. I thought I would make a post that my fellow introverts will be able to relate to and please, if you do relate or want to say anything, leave a comment or privately contact me.

You’d rather be alone than with your friends the majority of the time. And it’s not because you don’t love your friends, it’s nothing to do with them specifically, it’s everyone, everyone that’s not you. You just need alone time to recharge and enjoy your own company and that is totally okay!

You’re a pro at getting out of social events and you know all of the excuses… I have a dentist appointment, my grandparents are visiting from Sweden, I feel sick (and will feel sick for the next two weeks). Even just the thought of having to socialise for hours on end, probably encountering that auntie who always asks you super personal questions is sometimes just to much. Or maybe you’d rather just sit at home all day, eating ice cream and watching Netflix.

You need your extroverted best friend with you at all times if you’re out at a party so they can carry the conversation and you can chip in here and there when you feel like it without seeming too rude (you’re still labelled as a rude bitch though). The pressure of having to have a one on one conversation with someone you’re only acquaintances with is enough to make you stay at home alone.

You’re labelled as a bitch because you don’t talk to people and they think that you think you’re better than them and you’re too good to talk to them – and that’s not the case at all. Most of the time you’re just in your own little world thinking about something else or you’ve already socialised too much. But then sometimes it is because they are the single most annoying human being you’ve ever met.

By the end of the school year you can’t cope with anyone and if you don’t get a break from everyone soon you feel like you’ll just crash… Then a number of weeks later when you have to go back to school, you’ve barely recharged at all and still won’t be able to cope with anyone.

You feel like a bad friend because you cancel plans a lot just because the thought of spending the day alone is so much more appealing. And if they knew that the reason you’d given wasn’t a reason, only an excuse, you feel like they’d be mad at you. But you know if you hadn’t cancelled, you would’ve been bad company because you wouldn’t have spoken.

You need alone time to recharge after leaving the house for a few hours just because you’ve been surrounded by other humans. It’s like their energy just drains yours. It’s like being mentally tierd. Extroverts will just never understand.

You’ve been called shy by literally everyone and it’s the most annoying thing ever (whether you are or not). Some introverts are shy (and that’s totally okay!) and some, like me, are not. Yes we enjoy our own company a lot, yes we love spending time alone and no we don’t need to be around people constantly. There is a difference between being an introvert and being shy. Some introverts are shy and some are not.

And you’ve been called socially awkward too. If you are socially awkward, you would not like to be called socially awkward and if you’re not it’s just annoying.

Meeting someone new is a bit too much. Having to make conversation with someone who you don’t know is a little bit awkward and because you’re not enthusiastic and having nothing to say or ask, it will seem like you don’t like them and they, like everyone else, will either lable you as rude or as a bitch because it seems like you think you’re too good to talk to them.

Phone calls are just out of the question whether it’s with a friend (a closer friend is a different story) or someone who you don’t know at all. That feeling you get when the phone rings is awful, but more so when you have to make the phone call. And the worst is when you have to phone that auntie who you never talk to for the birthday present that you didn’t even like.

Self Love

I wanted to talk about self love because I believe to be truly happy in your life, you have to love yourself and accept each and every part of yourself – the good and the bad, inside and out.

I hate self love being referred to as a journey, as something you need to achieve, as something that once you find, you’ll always have. It most certainly doesn’t have a permanent destination.

I believe you always have that love somewhere within yourself but you just need to find it. And once you’ve found it, I believe that it does sometimes slip away and you’ll feel lost, discontented. But just as you found it the first time, you can find that love again.

Self love takes time. It takes a long time. And for some, they’ll never get there, but if they do, won’t be in that place for long. The reason for this being, your measure of self love doesn’t go one way, it sometimes goes backwards.

Loving yourself is about accepting all that you are and loving each and every part of yourself – the good, the bad and the ugly. The things that you hate and what you see as your flaws. You will soon no longer see them as your flaws but as something that makes you who you are.

If you can’t, teach yourself to see past the flaws and see the wonderful things that make you the wonderful person you are instead.

And practice this self love. I did say self love isn’t a permanent thing but it can be; if you practice it. If not, like I said, you’ll loose it like many people do. But don’t worry you can and you will get that love back, hopefully even stronger for even longer than before.

I wish you all the best in finding self love. We’re all in this together.

Having Your Achievements Disregarded & Your Pride Destroyed

A couple of weeks ago I posted something about having your feelings and experiences dismissed and invalidated. When I was writing that I found myself thinking about something that is quite similar and ties into it, which I’ve definitely experienced is when you tell someone about something you’ve achieved, something little in their eyes but a big deal in yours, something you’re proud of, and they just destroy your pride, make you feel insignificant and make your achievement seem worthless all in a matter of seconds by using what could be as little as one word. They tell you that they or someone else has already achieved this so it’s already been done and it’s no big deal or they tell you that they or someone else has done something bigger (but not even necessarily more important) so what you’ve done is basically nothing.

It does matter how big or small the achievement is, it’s important to you, you’ve achieved something and they have no right to make you feel awful – it’s totally unnecessary to do this to someone. I really don’t like people who do this. People who do things like this generally tend to be immature, unconfident people who need to make themselves feel better by tearing others down. So actually, I feel bad for people who do this because of how they must feel about themselves. But it’s still no excuse for making someone feel awful, especially when they have achieved something which they are so happy about, or were before someone came along and destroyed it all.  Even if you think someone’s achievement is no big deal, it’s clearly a big deal to them, otherwise they wouldn’t be telling you, so be happy for them, congratulate them, it’s really very easy. They aren’t asking you to sing their praises to everyone you encounter in the next few weeks. They only want a little recognition for what they’ve done, someone to say ‘well done’ with a smile on their face and mean it. You don’t need to think about it ever again, just sincerely congratulate them and try and show some kind of interest. Even me, who according to a lot of people is a bit of a bitch, can manage to do this all the time. In fact, I do it because I want to. I want people to feel good about themselves and what they’ve done. Empowerment it what we need in this world right now. But we need to remember that people who are doing this are probably jealous, insecure so it’s best not to take it personally and to just remember that it’s them not you.

Please let me know your thoughts in the comments and let me know what other topics you want me to talk about in the future. I hope to see you back next Sunday at 6PM BST for a beauty related post.

Being Made To Feel Insignificant & Having Your Feelings Invalidated

A couple of weeks ago, I was feeling quite anxious about something very specific that I was going to have to do. I told someone about this and they basically told me to get a grip because this certain person has had to do some things of a similar nature but on a slightly larger scale before (two specific things were mentioned) and they didn’t complain about having to do them. I don’t think anyone can even begin to understand how much this annoyed me. The main reason it annoyed me so much is because I’m not that person. We’ve not experienced the same things, we have completely different comfort zones, different confidence levels in situations like that and this person has inevitably experienced more things like this before because they are almost double my age (we tend to gain comfort and confidence doing something the more we do it). Just because someone isn’t phased by doing something big doesn’t mean another person will be totally fine with doing something smaller of a similar nature – everyone is different! To me the ‘little’ thing was a big deal and to them that ‘big’ thing was like tying your shoelace, so the ‘size’ of the matter doesn’t come in to it whatsoever.

Don’t ever let anyone dismiss you or make you feel worthless. Don’t let anyone make your feelings or your experiences seem invalid by comparison to their own or someone else’s feelings or experiences. Don’t ever feel like you can’t share your feelings or experiences out of fear of being made to feel insignificant or having your feelings invalidated because someone else’s feelings and experiences are made to seem more valid than yours. Even if someone is going through something ‘worse,’ your feelings are your feelings, and they most definitely are worthy, important and valid. No matter how big or small your experience is, it is valid and it is worthy. It doesn’t matter how big something is, it has the exact same significance as the little thing. Now, I’ve got a reputation for being a bitch and I’ll admit that I am one sometimes but I’d never dismiss someone or invalidate their feelings. The person is opening up to you, trusting you, confiding in you, and you dismiss them. Why? I’ll never understand it.

I’m not mad at the person who said these things to me. Yes, I’m annoyed about what they said, but I just hope they might be reading this and they never say something like that to anyone else ever again. The next person might not be as strong and they might not be able to realise that they aren’t the idiot but that the person saying this to them is. It might really affect them and make them feel like what they are feeling is silly and invalid. If you have been made to feel like that and you’re reading this, please know that your thoughts, feelings and experiences are your own and they are completely valid, important and not silly at all. Don’t let others compare you to others and definitely don’t start comparing yourself. You are you, you have your own experiences and emotions and don’t ever let anyone make you think otherwise. All of your feelings, emotions, experiences etc. are important. You are important. Remember that. If someone doesn’t see that, they aren’t important so get rid of them. Surround yourself by people who are going to support you through the so called ‘little’ things and of course the ‘big’ things too.